Battle of the Brainless Jokes
Quiz Master: Ano ang Pambansang isda ng Phils.?
(Note: correct answer is Bangus/Milkfish)
Erap: Pating?!
Quiz Master: Mali! O eto ang clue: “Ito ay nagsisimula sa letrang “B”.
Alma Moreno: Balyena!?
Quiz Master: Mali na naman! Another clue, 100 times na mas maliit sa balyena.
Erap: Alam ko na!…BUTETE!!
Quiz master: Ano ang pambansang hayop ng Phils.?
Clue ito ay nagsisumula sa letrang “K” (Note: correct answer is kalabaw a.k.a. water buffalo)
Erap: Kambing?!
Quiz master: Mali! next and last clue” katulong ng mga magsasaka sa pag-bubungkal ng lupa”
Alma Moreno: Alam ko na! Kutong-lupa!!?
Quiz Master: Mali na naman! Ang tamang sagot ay kabayo!
Quiz Master: Sino ang pumatay kay Magellan?
Clue “LL” ang kanyang initials. (Note: correct answer is Lapu Lapu)
Erap: Lito Lapid, Jr.?
Quiz Master: Mali, Lito Lapid, Jr. was not even born at that time!
Alma Moreno: E… di si Lito Lapid Sr.?!
Quiz Master: Wrong! Another clue “inuulit-ulit ang pangalan n’ya.
Erap: Ah alam ko na! LITO-LITO!
Quiz Master: Mali!
Alma Moreno: LAPID-LAPID?!
Quiz Master: Ano ang pangalan ng pambansang bayani ng Pilipinas?
Clue: JR ang kanyang initials (Note: correct answer is Dr. Jose Rizal)
Erap: Jeric Raval?!
Quiz Master: Mali! Another clue: siya’y isang doktor!
Alma Moreno: Is it Dr. Jerick Raval?!
Quiz Master: Mali! Isa pang clue: siya ay yumao na!
Erap: The late Dr. Jerick Raval?
Quiz Master: Ano ang 2 + 2? (Note: correct answer is 4)
Erap: Tri ?!
Quiz Master: Mali! O eto ang clue: “Taasan mo ng konti”.
Alma Moreno: (in a higher tone) TRI?!!
Quiz Master: Ano ang pambansang bulaklak ng Pilipinas?
Clue: Ito’y nagsisimula sa letrang “S” at nilalako sa EDSA.
(Note: correct answer is Sampaguita)
Alma Moreno: Storck!
Quiz Master: Mali!
Erap: Sitsaron?
Quiz Master: Hay naku! Sinabi nang bulaklak ito e.
Alma Moreno: Sitsaron bulaklak?!
Quiz Master: Mali! Another clue: tinutuhog ito!
Erap: Squid Ball?
Quiz Master: Ano ang pambansang ibon ng Philippines? (Note: correct answer is Maya)
Alma Moreno: Sisiw?
Quiz Master: Mali! O eto ang clue: nagsisimula sa initial na “M.”
Erap: Manok?!
Quiz Master: Hindi! Ito ay kulay brown!
Alma Moreno: Ah…e di….piniritong Manok!!
Quiz Master: Hay naku! Mali! Mali! Ito ay mas maliit sa manok!
Erap: Chicken Boullion cubes?!
Quiz Master: Sino ang action king ng Phil. movies? Ang kanyang initials ay F.P.
(correct answer is Fernando Poe)
Erap: Eh, di si Fops Pernandez!
Quiz Master: Mali, may Junior siya sa huli
Alma Moreno: Fops Pernandez, Jr.?!
Good evening, Happy April Fool’s Day!!
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. “Tim, you be first,” she said. “What does your mother do all day?”
Tim stood up and proudly said, “She’s a doctor.”
“That’s wonderful. How about you, Amie?”
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, “My father is a mailman.”
“Thank you, Amie,” said the teacher. “What about your father, Billy?”
Billy proudly stood up and announced, “My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse.”
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy’s house and rang the bell.
Billy’s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy’s father said, “I’m actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?”
Happy April Fool’s Day!